“looks like we have ourselves a little standoff…”
Dog Misreads Calendar, Thinks Dec. 5 Is Christmas
Local dog Marlowe bounded down the stairs in full reindeer regalia Wednesday morning, ready to dive into a pile of presents. Trouble is, today’s not Christmas.
“Her calendar was about 20 days off,” says Jenny Hicks, a source familiar with the situation. “Not sure if she was reading it in dog years, or what. But, she was pretty embarrassed when we broke the news to her.”
Dog Concerned ‘Frankenstorm’ Could Cancel Trick-or-Treating
Area dog Toby is concerned that the massive pre-Halloween storm bearing down on the East coast of the United States could interrupt his plans for Halloween fun.
“He’s not really concerned about power outages, downed trees or flooding,” said friend Jaime Bruckman. ”Toby already boarded up his dog house and has a stock pile of bottled water and beef jerky. He’s prepared. No, what’s really got him worried is that Hurricane Sandy might disrupt trick-or-treating on Wednesday.”
Toby is apparently a huge fan of Halloween. ”He lives for October 31,” said Bruckman. ”He put a ton of effort into his wizard costume this year and he’ll be crushed if he can’t go door-to-door with it.”
Via Scott Butner.
No! Nothing will stop trick-or-treating!
Meet Trotter, the Most Fashionable Pup on Instagram
Mobile photo network Instagram is known for fashion photos and pet pics, but the best of both worlds are married by Trotter, a San Francisco Frenchie who knows how to step out in style.
She prefers to work with only one photographer, Sonya Yu.
“Sonya really captures Trotter’s essence,” says Randy Zed, the pup’s longtime publicist. “When it comes to high dog fashion, there’s really no one else on the scene today.”
Via Sonya Yu.
A red panda that is fat.
Kitten Finishes Doctoral Thesis
After nearly three straight months of work, Jack the kitten has put the finishing touches on his doctoral thesis. The paper explores the relationship between socio-economic status and overall health, and will be reviewed by professors at Princeton University this fall.
“He just crashed as soon as he finished it,” says Cody Brinks, a friend. “I told him not to have all those energy drinks, but he wouldn’t listen.”
Puppies Behind Bars is a unique program that allows U.S. prisoners to give back to their community by training service dogs for wounded warriors. They’ll be training two Dog Bless You service dogs.
Cat Can’t Relax Due to Instagram
According to reports, a kitty named Hudson is having a near impossible time trying to get in a cat nap this morning. The reason? Instagram.
“Every time Hudson closes his eyes, some jerk shows up with a camera trying to take a picture,” said a source close to the situation. ”As if there aren’t already enough photos of sleeping cats on Instagram!”
Via This is Awkward.
Ferret Scholar Proposes Radical New Form of Government
Dr. Kenneth Geller, professor of political science at Dartmouth College and obvious ferret, has published a controversial paper that outlines a new governmental structure.
“He calls it Ferretocracy,” says James Goodwell, a graduate student who assisted Dr. Geller with his research. “Basically, ferrets rule over everyone with a benevolent but iron will. It’s kind of like Plato’s Philosopher King. But with ferrets.”
So far, the theory has not been well received in academic circles.
“It’s a nice idea, but it doesn’t account for ferret nature,” says Roger Kemnitzer, noted author and political analyst. “If you concentrate too many ferrets at the top, you run the risk of corruption. Without checks and balances, a ferret oligarchy could run amok, and you’d be back in the dark ages,” he explains. “But with ferrets.”
Via nakao hata.
It’s kind of like Plato’s Philosopher King. But with ferrets.